Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
