Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
