so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
