Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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