Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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