3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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