ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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