nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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