i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
