I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
