is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
