I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She bit a glass in half.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
