Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
