One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
