what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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