i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
