I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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