its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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