FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
