That's when you crack a 10am beer
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
