I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
