I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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