NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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