We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize