you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
