the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize