are you so shy because you have an std?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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