Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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