dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
