my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
