Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
