Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
