Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize