YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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