This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Please don't give away my fajitas
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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