i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
