the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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