If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize