Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize