I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
