I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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