it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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