how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
