Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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