Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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