Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
