It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
