So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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