Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
