There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
