This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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