I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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