And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
