Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize