I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
