I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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