I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
