Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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