you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
