Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
