Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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