he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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