I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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