Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
